Monday, July 25, 2011

My name is "Bleep" and I'm a Alcoholic

 Hi my name is "Bleep" and I'm an Alcoholic.... It's sad but true for many people. Including me. I have recently faced the fact that I am an alcoholic. This was and is something for me that is very hard to face. And I want to talk about it because alcohol is such a common, popular element in many activities, it can be hard to see when your drinking has crossed the line. The first step is to know what and Alcoholic is. Alcoholic- Alcoholism is the addiction to or dependency upon drinking excessive amounts of alcoholic beverages. The second is to admit it. I consume alcohol simply to feel good, or to avoid feeling bad and stress. I suffer from anxiety, depression and my drinking has become problematic. I use alcohol to self-medicate. I associate my self closely with heavy drinkers who also are alcoholic.  Who also is or maybe suffering from stress and is more likely to develop drinking problems if they don't already have one. I had developed a unhealthy compulsive and uncontrolled consumption of alcohol. The Third step understanding the problem and overcoming it.
Alcoholism and alcohol abuse are due to many interconnected factors, including genetics, how you were raised, your social environment, and your emotional health. Women who deal with depression and anxiety attacks are at a higher risk to alcohol abuse. The same applies to women with a genetic predisposition to addiction, alcohol affects them more intensely, the ‘high’ comes sooner and they hardly suffer from hangovers. Another pitfall for women are ones who have many responsibilities. And this sometime puts them under immense pressure. Due to a combination of work and family is one of the increased cause of alcohol abuse by women. Many women tend to make themselves available to others and forget themselves in doing that. At the end of a work day alcohol becomes the solution to their stress and a way to relax.

What made me wake up? It's really kind of crazy but it was a man. I met this guy and I liked him so much. He was so right for me I thought. And one day  he said something to me about being drunk. I'm thinking I'm not drunk, but I was. He made it very clear that if I was drunk not to call him. At first I was like who is this guy telling me not to drink. But when I saw he was for real. At that point I was like okay let me get my self together. You know what I couldn't stop, I couldn't stop drinking. As bad as I wanted to, talk to him or be with him I couldn't stop drink just to kick it with him for a day. And he made it's very clear that if I had been drink not to call. Damn for real this man won't talk to me cause I've been drinking. It got me to thinking. But of course it didn't last long.  But then shit in my life started falling apart and I was starting to see it. Really it has been happening for a while. I was just starting see it myself. But of course I played it down. And what do you know I met another man and he said "you get drunk like you a little kid" and didn't want to fuck with me for real. So now I'm like okay what the fuck is going on. I can't get a man? And it hit me I am a "Alcoholic" I cried and cried thinking about everything I've done and all the people I have hurt. Most of all my kids. For 2 weeks I cried and decided to deal with everything I've been running away from, it was ugly. I then deiced I was done drinking and realized I couldn't stop. Then I got sick. I was like what the fuck. So I looked it up on online.
Alcohol Withdrawal By 
When heavy or frequent drinkers suddenly decide to quit "cold turkey" they will experience some physical withdrawal symptoms -- which can range from the mildly annoying to severe and even life-threatening.
The severity of these withdrawal symptoms is usually dependent upon how "chemically dependent" the chronic drinker has become. Those who drink heavily on a daily basis of course have developed a high level of dependency, but even those who drink daily, but not heavily and those who drink heavily but not daily, can also be chemically dependent upon alcohol.

So now I'm like damn. But you know I want a different life. So I'm going to work hard and hope I win this battle. You only get one life and do I want to look back at my life only to see a bunch of drunken moment, drunken parties. The truth is no, no I don't. I think about all the times I could have lost my life being drunk. Its not worth it. You only get one life, and I've already wasted to much time. I hope my story helps someone.

Oprah " I am the master of my soul" Know it and Believe it.... And I'm out

1 comment:

  1. Stay focused on your goals and always remember : "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" ~ Philippians 4:13